POG's: The Greatest Schoolyard Gambling Game EVER!

Introduction:

I remember the moment like it was yesterday.  It was 1993, and I was finishing sucking back the remaining pizza sauce from my delicious Oscar Meyer pepperoni pizza Lunchable kit when  the bell, signifying  lunch recess, rang throughout the teal coloured halls of my public school.  As I cleaned up the wrappers from the gourmet meal and the juicebag of my thirst quinching Capri Sun from the protractor carved surface of my desk, I mentally prepared myself for the epic battle which was about to take place. 

Over the past several weeks, a legendary schoolyard rivalry had come into fruition between myself and my arch nemesis, Bradley Neal.  Even to type his name brings pain to the tips of my fingers, specifically my pinkie.  This rivalry was not due to most typical childhood disputes such as sports, friends or girls, but was rooted in something far greater...Ralph Wiggum of The Simpsons. For weeks, Bradley and I battled each other over him.  Possessing him gave you power  amongst your fellow pupils like a playground version of the Holy Grail.  Wiggum was the rarest of the rare.  He could be found in very few packs, and on a ration of a pack every two weeks from my parents for cleaning my bedroom, I knew the chances of acquiring his beauty and mystical essence once more was minimal.  The only opportunity of obtaining the glory of the Ralph Wiggum POG was during this lunchtime battle.  Mano et mano, slammer against slammer, me against Bradley for the Ralph Wiggum POG.  Bradley had him, and I wanted him.

As I opened the doors, cloaked in my best 'No Fear' shirt and rocking my slickest pair of Payless velcro shoes, I noticed all the cute girls gathering around Bradley, gawking at the Wiggum POG.  Summoning the unwavering confidence of my childhood hero, Tommy the Green Ranger, I approached Bradley and the pack of Osh-Kosh cloaked beauties, and yelled, “YOU READY FOR AN ASSWHOOPING BITCH!” (Note: This is how it came out in my head, when in reality I anxiously waited for Bradley to notice that I was there with the hope that he would graciously play me for the Wiggum POG).

He smiled, knowing that he'd been on a hot streak with me, having recently acquired a good amount of my collection from my past attempts to acquire the Wiggum.  “What are you planning to put down?”, he asked me.  I removed my plastic POG tube, and emptied the remaining contents  from within it.  I had around 15 POG’s left.  A few Star Wars, a couple Reboot, some Looney Tunes and, the real draw for Bradley, a hologram Toronto Maple Leafs POG. 

“You put down all of them, and I will put down the Ralph Wiggum”, Bradley seducing offered.  Knowing I couldn’t resist, I put forth all of stack.  “We playing for keepsies?”, Bradley wondered.  “Is there any other way?”, I slyly replied. (Note: “Is there any other way?” is, again, what it sounded like in my head, when in reality I awkwardly responded with an “Ummm…yeah…well….haha..if you want to..I mean..I guess so?”, while simultaneously trying not to piss myself in fear.)

Bradley grabbed the stack from my palm, and mixed the Ralph Wiggum into it behind his back, then placed the pile of POGS down on the smoothest part of the asphalt surface.  At this point, a crowd had gathered, all excited to witness who would win this cardboard milkcap crown of glory. 

“Only regular slammers aloud!”, he demanded, pulling out his lucky John Smith from Disney's Pocahontas slammer.   I came armed with my demonic Spawn slammer.  “OK.  The rules:  You cannot slam down on the stack using the edge of the slammer and you cannot hit the side of the stack and flip the POGS. OK?”, asked my opponent.  “Yeah, no cheatsies at all,” I cowardly agreed.  “Alright, I’m going first”, yelled Bradley. 

With the crowd roaring with delight, Bradley raised his slammer in the air and came down on the pile hard.  The stack exploded into the air, and crashed onto the pavement.  My heart was racing as I looked to see the jewels that Bradley had turned face up.  Damn it! He flipped all my Reboots, and I fucking loved that show.  On top of that, he also acquired my Looney Tunes, and one of my Star Wars, the Sand Dune creatures.  Remaining was the Maple Leafs hologram, a Darth Vader, a sexy Princess Leia, and, most importantly, the Wiggum.

It was now my turn.  My stomach turned more than it had when I would wait in line for the Ghoster Coaster at Canada’s Wonderland.  I restacked the pile and, with a shaky hand, raised my slammer into the air, yelling "HI-YA", like Tum-Tum, my favourite character from the hit movie '3 Ninjas'.  With all my might, I came down and released the slammer from my grip. 

BAM!  Just from the sound of the collision, I knew that I had an amazing slam.  It sounded like no other throw in the history of POG playing, a unique high pitched crash like a Jeremy Taggart cymbal smash.  Just as I was about to raise my hands in victory, I looked down and noticed that not one POG had moved from its place.  I missed the stack completely, as emphasized by my friend Ryan McSween who said, “You missed the pile by, like, three feet. That was horrible”.   It did not take long before I realized I should not have closed my eyes while I slammed.

All seemed doomed.  I was going to be the laughing stock of my school.  Brad cockily prepped himself and got ready to sweep the remaining POGs.  I turned my head as he slammed down onto the stack once more.  Turning my gaze back, I could see disappointment in his face.  I looked to the pavement and, to my surprise, he had flipped all the POGs except for RALPH WIGGUM!

The crowd was stunned.  They instantly turned to gaze, awaiting for me to once more attempt to obtain the greatest jewel to ever bless my suburban schoolyard.  I knew this was my last opportunity.  Shocked and overjoyed I asked Ryan, in hopes he would give me motivation, “You think I can do it man?”.  After a short pause, he responded with “No” and continued to eat his Fruit by the Foot.  I looked back to the Ralph Wiggum and prayed to the POG gods for all their strength, to aid me through what I was about to attempt.  I raised my hand into the sky and with every last bit of strength that I had in my right arm, slammed down, making contact with the Wiggum. 

It flew through the air, flying in slow motion like the mask that Milo the dog catched in the movie...'The Mask'.  It then spiraled towards the ground,  and landed on it’s side, sending it into a spin, like a dreidel on Chanukah.  The crowd was frozen, as they watched the Wiggum come to an eventual stop, as it landed…FACE UP! 

A huge cheer came over the crowd as I picked up the POG, waving it in the air in victory.  I was officially the king of the schoolyard, girls would be mine, I would get first pick of the swings, no one would bud me anymore, my life would be changed forever now that the Wiggum was mine.  I often consider this to be the single greatest moment in my life.

(Note: This moment lasted all of one school period.  The very next recess, Bradley challenged me to a rematch and won the Wiggum back, and retained the POG's I had lost to him from our previous match.  I, once again, made the mistake of closing my eyes as I  slammed.  This loss made me officially POGless and ended my career as a POG player.)    
      

Origins:

Menko

Created in Japan during the early 1700’s, Menko were cards made of clay that depicted images of a person or animal.  Menko, which translated means small object with a face, is also a game wherein young Japanese boys attempt to flip their opponent’s cards over by throwing or slamming their cards against theirs.   If they flip their card over, they get to keep it.  The player that accumulates the most cards wins the game. 

For the Japanese, the game served as a way of getting their young boys ready for manhood.  They could use their Menko playing as a way to relate and compete with one another.  They believed that introducing the knowledge of competition in friendly settings would prep them for when they became warriors and be fighting against unwelcoming competition.

The clay cards were eventually replaced with paper in the late 1800’s, and the images depicted images of samurai warriors, politicians, and other heroic figures of the time.  During the 1900’s, the country went through a western cultural makeover, placing images of cartoon characters, baseball players and other images from the western world.  Menko cards are now on par with our modern day baseball cards, looked at as collectables.

Craze:

Blossom Galbiso and Pass-O-Guava Drink

Looked at as the lady behind the POG craze, Blossom Galbiso was a school teacher is Hawaii.  In 1991, while trying to find interesting ways of teaching her students math, Blossom recalled a game called Milk-covas from her childhood wherein Hawaiian children would play with the milk caps from the glass bottles of milk they had.  The children of Blossom’s class loved the lesson and started to share the game with their friends, beginning a craze. 

Eventually the corporate world caught on to the craze, mainly one company called Haleakala Dairy who had a popular drink called Pass-O-Guava, a mixed juice consisting of passion fruit, orange, and guava.  Capitalizing on the craze, their marketing department began to attach their POG milk caps to their product.  Eventually the craze spread all over the world, accumulating sales of over $150,000,000.

Legacy:

Operation Iraqi Freedom

POG’s may have been the currecy of  90’s kids, but recently have been given some ACTUAL economical value.  During the US’s extraordinarily well executed ‘Operation Iraqi Freedom’, the US military used the milk caps as a form of currency.   The POG coins have printing images of American heroics on  one side and  varying numerical values printed on the other, much like coins.  The reasoning behind using milk caps as opposed to actual coins was because metal coins would be much too heavy and expensive to create, whereas the cardboard caps are far lighter and easier to ship.  This currency is still in use today in the newly better off Iraq!  POG’s for world peace.

VIDEO LINKS:


You MUST listen to this dude try to sell his POG's on some auction type show.  This guy would have whooped all our asses in the schoolyard.  Serious POG master!!! :  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unHVtcPb8es

The Simpsons do POG's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDewRA0E1zo&feature=player_embedded

This POG ad is straight out of some Orwellian futuristic reality.  POGS! POGS! POGS!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr_kkdmLf7I&feature=related